VOICE OF THE LOGOS (12): REFLECTION/HOMILY FOR FRIDAY OF THE SEVENTH WEEK IN ORDINARY TIME, YEAR I

Not everyone who calls you “friend” is truly your friend. In a world driven by social media, we mistake likes, follows, and compliments for genuine friendship. People befriend you when they need you but disappear when you need them. Have you seen couples celebrate love lavishly or a very expensive wedding, which became the talk of the moment, as often portrayed on social media, only to call it quits when the excitement fades? Most relationships today are built on convenience, not commitment. Friendships last as long as there’s something to gain, and marriages are treated like contracts rather than covenants. People walk away at the first inconvenience, believing they “deserve better” without ever questioning whether they themselves have cultivated the virtues necessary for lasting bonds. The readings today challenge this shallow approach to relationships, urging us to seek wisdom instead of fleeting emotions.

The Book of Sirach presents a raw and uncomfortable truth: most friendships are conditional. It warns that not everyone who calls you “friend” is truly loyal. Many people stick around only because they are benefiting from you in some way. But a faithful friend? That’s a rare find, a gift from God. The Hebrew root for friend in this context is “rēa”ʿ (רֵעַ), which not only means a companion but also carries the deeper meaning of someone bound to you in trust and mutual dependence. The passage reminds us that a true friend is tested by fire, just as gold is refined. A friendship that has never been tested in hardship is unreliable. This is where many fail today because friendships are based on common interests, humour, or shared experiences instead of loyalty, virtue, or God-centered trust. The result? The moment a misunderstanding arises or distance creeps in, the friendship dissolves. Sirach’s wisdom is simple yet often ignored: choose your friends carefully and become the kind of friend you seek.

The psalmist takes this one step further by showing us where true wisdom comes from. “Teach me, Lord, your statutes,” he prays, acknowledging that human wisdom is not enough to sustain relationships. This is a direct response to the failure of both friendships and marriages today, we act on emotions instead of wisdom. People make quick, impulsive choices in relationships without discerning the character, faith, and long-term values of the other person. The psalm reminds us that obedience to God’s law is the only sure way to avoid disastrous decisions. When emotions fade, when trials arise, and when human love fails, it is only the wisdom of God that can sustain relationships.

Jesus, in today’s Gospel, exposes how deeply flawed our understanding of commitment has become. The Pharisees ask Him about divorce, hoping to trap Him in a legal debate. But Jesus doesn’t just talk about law, He brings them back to creation itself. “From the beginning, God made them male and female… and the two shall become one flesh.” In a world where people think marriage is about “compatibility” or “happiness,” Jesus reminds us that marriage is about union, which is an unbreakable bond intended by God Himself. The Greek word used for “joined together” is syzeugnymi (συζεύγνυμι), meaning not just a union but a binding that cannot be undone. It’s the same word used for yoking oxen together, indicating that marriage is a lifelong partnership, not a trial phase. But modern society teaches the opposite. If a marriage isn’t making you happy, end it. If a friendship isn’t exciting anymore, move on. If a relationship isn’t convenient, cut it off. This culture of disposability is exactly what Jesus rejects.

The Gospel is not just about marriage, it’s about how we approach all relationships. If marriage is sacred, then friendship should also be treated with reverence. If God calls spouses to faithfulness, shouldn’t we also be faithful in our friendships? Yet today, we sabotage our own relationships and blame God for the consequences. We ignore wisdom, choosing people based on attraction, wealth, or status rather than character. We refuse to endure hardship, abandoning people when the relationship requires sacrifice. We reject commitment, always looking for the next best thing instead of investing in what we have. And then we wonder why we feel lonely, why friendships don’t last, and why marriages collapse.

This is where the readings confront us with a hard question: Are you wise in your relationships, or are you just following your feelings? Sirach tells you to choose friends carefully and test their loyalty, but do you? The psalmist asks for God’s wisdom, but do you seek it before entering relationships? Jesus says marriage is unbreakable, but do you treat relationships as lifelong or as temporary conveniences? If we want friendships and marriages that last, we need to stop blaming others and start looking at ourselves. Instead of asking, “Why do people betray me?” ask, “Have I chosen my friends wisely?” Instead of saying, “My marriage isn’t working,” ask, “Did I enter it with wisdom, prayer, and patience?” Instead of wondering why people leave when things get hard, ask, “Do I have the endurance to fight for what is good?”

Friendships fail not because people are evil but because wisdom was ignored at the beginning. Marriages break down not because love dies but because people were never truly prepared for the covenant they entered. Relationships crumble because we prioritize emotions over wisdom, convenience over commitment, and self-interest over sacrifice. If we want to stop failing in relationships, we need to return to what the readings teach: test people before you trust them, seek God’s wisdom before making commitments, and understand that love – true love – requires sacrifice.